i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
