theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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