Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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