so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
