You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize