yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
