White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
tell me about the fingering
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