Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
