bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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