the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize