Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
