Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
