Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
