Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
