worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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