I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dating After Heartbreak
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.