Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.