Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.