Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.