oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.