Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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(802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk

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(602): View more from Arizona

you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

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(602): you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer. http://tfl.nu/7uxe

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(586): View more from Michigan

My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.

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(586): My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god. http://tfl.nu/ww51

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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(610): Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can http://tfl.nu/8h8s

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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(678): I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy http://tfl.nu/r472

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

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(717): She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even http://tfl.nu/tali

Replies (14) Good night (3118) Bad night (1269)
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(630): View more from Illinois

yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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(630): yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed http://tfl.nu/06jt

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(415): View more from California

It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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(415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9

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(360): View more from Washington

Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.

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(360): Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink. http://tfl.nu/zpxh

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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(519): I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen? http://tfl.nu/tjza

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid

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(405): I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid http://tfl.nu/bd90

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(303): View more from Colorado

Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

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(303): Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"... http://tfl.nu/l31e

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(407): View more from Florida

and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.

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(407): and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends. http://tfl.nu/08f5

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(773): View more from Illinois

You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

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(773): You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday. http://tfl.nu/8aa9

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(619): View more from California

Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats

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(619): Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats http://tfl.nu/741y

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