My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
