i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
