i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
