This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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