Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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