It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize