Having a random hookup so left but love u
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
