everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
