we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Randomize
