I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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