Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think people are normalizing furries
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
