It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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