I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize