they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
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