I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
