Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Pooping to opera.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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