There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
