So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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