i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I want her autograph on my taint
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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