i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
