How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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