we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
