dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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