I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
