okay pat passed out under dana's car
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
