Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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