U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
