That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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