you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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