i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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