when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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