i just had sex bonerless
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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