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• (805): View more from California

  i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing

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• (949): View more from California

  You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My job here is done.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.

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