i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you have to choose: penises or morals?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I broke a rule
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.