Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

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  (810): i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck! http://tfl.nu/jvh5
  Replies (8) Good night (2053) Bad night (4712)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

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  (630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt? http://tfl.nu/7oa6
  Replies (97) Good night (685) Bad night (4165)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (657) Bad night (5849)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes

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  (519): dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes http://tfl.nu/xjd2
  Replies (61) Good night (6233) Bad night (1068)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where my bra went.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

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  (303): I don't know where my bra went. (1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/03yq
  Replies (22) Good night (7945) Bad night (1054)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait until you see the roof.

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  (978): Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help. (1-978): Wait until you see the roof. http://tfl.nu/itso
  Replies (34) Good night (4546) Bad night (1516)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?

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  (724): He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl? http://tfl.nu/b3zj
  Replies (12) Good night (829) Bad night (1960)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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  (601): She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs. http://tfl.nu/rhuf
  Replies (9) Good night (3693) Bad night (743)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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  (513): i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution http://tfl.nu/2azu
  Replies (3) Good night (1136) Bad night (605)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

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  (807): It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time. http://tfl.nu/tzie
  Replies (5) Good night (2193) Bad night (526)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.

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  (778): She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/jz26
  Replies (5) Good night (428) Bad night (900)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2114) Bad night (365)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?

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  (219): I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM? http://tfl.nu/704g
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (801)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (399)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.

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  (740): I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college. http://tfl.nu/6kt7
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (534)

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