Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?

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  (949): Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse? http://tfl.nu/h2ii
  Replies (21) Good night (3130) Bad night (963)
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  (310): View more from California

  It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.

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  (310): It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples. http://tfl.nu/vzvv
  Replies (14) Good night (2728) Bad night (1080)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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  (502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj
  Replies (37) Good night (1053) Bad night (2278)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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  (412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8
  Replies (82) Good night (2950) Bad night (676)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

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  (630): Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games http://tfl.nu/dec3
  Replies (10) Good night (4385) Bad night (702)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

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  (320): For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates. http://tfl.nu/jze3
  Replies (19) Good night (1502) Bad night (4179)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

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  (860): what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday? http://tfl.nu/71tj
  Replies (32) Good night (4908) Bad night (1098)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to get rid of the hedgehog.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Does it come with a cage?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes. and food and toys.

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i'll trade you an 8th for it

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  deal.

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  (201): i have to get rid of the hedgehog. (765): Does it come with a cage? (201): yes. and food and toys. (765): i'll trade you an 8th for it (201): deal. http://tfl.nu/2d4g
  Replies (26) Good night (10017) Bad night (1350)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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  (303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away http://tfl.nu/qpjo
  Replies (8) Good night (6746) Bad night (1002)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...

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  (781): Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out... http://tfl.nu/xv6z
  Replies (5) Good night (2618) Bad night (913)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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  (703): Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress. http://tfl.nu/zjlr
  Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.

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  (918): It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin. http://tfl.nu/s6ok
  Replies (26) Good night (3400) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (592) Bad night (883)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

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  (870): You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it. http://tfl.nu/7wns
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.

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  (518): If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating. http://tfl.nu/6lgh
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (154)

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