please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
accomplished twins. life is a go
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
