Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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  (352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x
  Replies (18) Good night (806) Bad night (2600)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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  (706): Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number. http://tfl.nu/7aw5
  Replies (11) Good night (670) Bad night (3906)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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  (517): my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab. http://tfl.nu/ejcr
  Replies (22) Good night (595) Bad night (5088)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3389) Bad night (923)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
  Replies (28) Good night (1555) Bad night (3470)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.

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  (313): Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg. http://tfl.nu/ll5x
  Replies (11) Good night (888) Bad night (2924)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.

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  (512): I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend. http://tfl.nu/57u1
  Replies (10) Good night (1414) Bad night (2002)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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  (817): Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence. http://tfl.nu/yx0o
  Replies (4) Good night (2078) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet

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  (718): She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet http://tfl.nu/l8w6
  Replies (10) Good night (1237) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.

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  (330): GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. http://tfl.nu/8n34
  Replies (11) Good night (1961) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.

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  (816): TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN. http://tfl.nu/24ey
  Replies (4) Good night (591) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

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  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1284) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.

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  (641): I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/ecbx
  Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink

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  (307): We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink http://tfl.nu/q4ce
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Yes.

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  (779): I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day (779): Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate? (815): Yes. http://tfl.nu/1qpc
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (271)

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