I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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