This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize