this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
