Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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