so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
