Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Too much gin, very little bucket
she peed on how many people?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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