I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my being single is dangerous.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
