I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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