O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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