I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize
