so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
