Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize