It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
