You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
