He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
