Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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