is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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