Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
