I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize