Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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