when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
