dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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