Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
