It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
