At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
