Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
